la vie est magnifique!

Ok, so I went to Paris and didnt have the internet for four days (yes, and I lived, which means you all can too! hazza!) so I didnt get to keep a daily blog of what was happening. To be honest though, I probably wouldnt have been able to. By the time my days were over my brain had just shut off. No amount of redbull or coffee could save me ha.
But I will do my best to accurately depict what happened. This will probably be really long...guess we'll find out how much you really like my blog if you read the whole thing or not hahaha

So the night before I attempted watching the Duke v. North Carolina game, which started at 3am...Italian time. Needless to say, that didnt really go as planned, but I still only got around 2 1/2 hours of sleep because our taxi was coming at 4:15 to bring us to the bus station. The bus station that would then bring us to the airport. So at 4 am the four of us, Erika, Ashley, John and myself head out on our first trip out of italy. So after one taxi ride, one bus ride, and a 2 and a 1/2 hour plane ride, we arrive in an airport an hour out of paris, so we take yet another bus into Paris!
Paris really is beautiful. Right off the bat I knew I liked the city. And right off the bat I knew I did NOT like the people. They kind of suck. And smell. Which is a pretty shitty combo. Apparently deodorant is not a country favorite in Paris. Womp womp.
My whole life I wanted to go to Paris to see all the fashionistas. To look at everyone's chic style. And to eat a baguette wearing stripes. So I obviously packed accordingly. I put together the chicest outfits I could fit into a backpack, and prayed it would suffice.
It did. There was no one too fashionable that blew my mind in Paris, which was almost a let down. I was looking for inspiration I guess.
Anyways, day one began at 11:30am. And right away I remembered "Damn, I dont speak french" and right away, that became a problem. The french dont take kindly to people who dont speak french, and really dont care to speak english, which causes quite the communication barrier. Something I havent ever really had a problem with, because my italian is better than I thought, and Spanish always comes in handy. So I felt like a fish out of water. But instead of panicking in true Meghan fashion, I chilled out and let myself be a tourist.
We had to find our hostel from the metro station, which thankfully was easier than I had expected. And speaking of expectations, I literally had none for this hostel. I just prayed that it wasnt like the movie Hostel. I could deal with everything else. I was prepared for the worse. But was pleasantly surprised. Peace and Love Hostel was perfect for us. The minute we walked in we met Nyema (sp?) who was probably the coolest most outrageous foreign woman I have met that isnt my mom. She was so fun and made us feel right at home. Now this place wasnt the Ritz Carlton or anything, but it was all we needed, and we were happy.
So the first order of business was eating. We all had stank faces on, and our conversational skills were lacking because we were all hungry. So Nyema recommended Chez Papa, a restaurant down the street from the hostel.
The french are fricken weird. Everything was duck, innards, snails, basically the shit you pull out of the turkey and throw away. It doesnt help that I'm super picky and that everything makes me sick, so I was having some issues with the cuisine.
I thought I played it safe and ordered steak. False! It was almost raw, so I almost puked everywhere, because I could almost hear the cow mooing on my plate. Not ok.
But after the food fail, we did what you're assuming we did and hit up the Eiffel Tower. And it's funny because we were making jokes on the metro saying things like "I'll pay you to go up to someone when we get there and ask where the Eiffel tower is" and then we get off the metro and we're looking around and looking on the map as to where to go, and over the trees I see this metal thing and I go "Hey guys isnt that it?" and they all chuckle and little and are like "pshhh nah it's like a cell phone tower thing, thats too ugly." Welp. Guess verizon has an Eiffel shaped cell phone tower, because I was right! hahahahaha On a scale from one to dumb ass we were all feeling a little on the 's' side.
We climbed all 669 stairs to get to the top, which wasnt as tiring as I was expecting it to be on 2 and 1/2 hours of sleep. And the view was worth every step.
And from that view I saw a Ferris Wheel. And because I'm 5, I begged everyone to let me go to it. Also because I'm five I didnt realize that my distance perception was wayyyyy off from what I was expecting. But everyone played nice and let me go.
It was Johns first time on a Ferris Wheel, and I got candy after, so it was totally worth it in the end, if you ask me.
On our way back we passed the fancy shopping area, that had both street break dancers, a massive H&M, and a starbucks, so I could've stayed there all night. Expect no one else was feelin it but me, so we left abruptly. But not before I found 5 euro, which compensated me for the candy I bought earlier. Score.
We wearily made our way back to the hostel and quickly found out that our bar gets bumpin at night. So bumpin in fact, that Ashley said "I'm so happy there's a hostel in our bar" hahaha
We met the coolest people. Right away the bar tender was talking to me, and I received my first round of free shots. To which I quickly informed him that I didnt drink. He looked at me for a minute, shook his head, looked again and said "An American that doesnt drink?? I didnt think those existed?!" bahaha But luckily for me, he stayed cool and supplied me with free pineapple juice the rest of the night! Score again!
I made friends with a boy named Matt, from Brazil, who was just in france to kill time before going to spain for school. We talked for a bit in spanish, and everyone socialized. Around 11:30 Matt invited us to a party. And for some reason, I said yes, which I never ever do. But we all hopped on the metro, and hoped for the best.
But then the po-po messed everything up. And I got arrested.

haha jk

But they did ruin everything. Erika forgot her metro pass in the hostel, and just slid through with John. We were not aware that the cops would be down by the trains checking metro passes. Because she didnt have hers, they fined her 40 euros. Yeah. It was a total buzz kill, and it made Erika want to do an immediate U turn back to the hostel. Which we ended up doing. But it was for the better! Because I had redbull! And bumpin music! But eventually exhaustion got the best of us and we called it a night. Saying goodnight to our new friends Brenda, Travis, Matt, and Chris.

Day 2 The Louvre. Ya, I chilled with the Mono Lisa, nbd. Except it totally is! But you cant do it all in a day. There is just so much to see. And you want to let everything soak in, because it is all so beautiful. Some of it is even haunting. If you ever get a chance to go, do it.
Besides that, the next eventful thing to happen that afternoon was the shammered guy on the metro back that grabbed on to Erika's neck. It wasnt funny when it happened, but as I type this I'm cracking myself up because he just kept telling us he wanted to introduce us to his good friend, in spanish. He was clearly and couple bottles and needles deep. You cant cry. So you just gotta laugh. Right? Well I did, Erika, clearly didnt.
That night we decided we wanted a little taste of the Parisian night life, and I had found me some cheap redbull. So I was ready to shake my groove thang. Ya I said it.
We ended up find a bar called Charlotte Bar, which THRILLED John because that the name of his home town in NC, and it thrilled me because I heard reggaeton bumpin from the inside. So I mean, it couldve been called "The worst bar of all time" and I still wouldve gone in because it had spanish music. So it got on and poppin. I danced like it was my job, and we all seemed to have a great time. Especially when I found 5 euro... again! I also got deep fried chinese food after at like 2 am, which was awesome. Chinese food is always exciting because you're almost playing Russian Roulette, you're taking the chance that this food could possibly give you some crazy disease because they mixed too many cat intestines together. But it tastes so good that the fat kid inside you blocks out your logic.
Tragically enough, after all of the festivities, ALL OF MY PICTURES GOT DELETED.
Ya. I almost cried. Actually, I'd being lying if I didnt tell you that I teared up a little bit. But worse things have happened to better people. So I sucked it up and proceeded with Erika's 21st bday celebration the next day.

Now, 21 is nothing special to europeans. So whenever we would excitedly tell people it was her 21st, people just kind of looked at us like we were stupid haha
We didnt know what to do during the day to make Erika's Bday memorable. So we clearly made the obvious decision of going to the Red Light district of Paris, and seeing maybe 50 sex shops in a row, followed by a visit to the sex museum. If you're ever looking for a way to completely abstain from sex, go to the sex museum and look at the plethora of pictures of women who havent shaved their gine since they came out of the womb. Or better yet, just look at all the creepy versions of the devil and his dick. You'll become a nun after that.
We saw Moulin Rouge as well, and we wouldve seen a show, if it wasnt hella expensive. And I mean why pay 150 euro for a Burlesque show when down the street you can go into a little booth and get your own private little show for like 20 euro. I mean, a little less class and a little more herpes, but you win some you lose some.
We went to Chez Papa for dinner again, because we didnt know anywhere else, and we were too scared to be in the red light district at night hahaha
Shortly after dinner we started getting ready for out night life adventures.
Now by this time somethings had happened here and there that hadnt put me in the greatest of moods. but I shrugged it off and played nice.
We were invited to this underground club at a friend of a friends place. No cover, cheap beer, and everyone's happy right? ha. It was actually pretty rad. It was in an abandoned train station, and there were a bunch of french punks and hipsters everywhere. I can have a good time anywhere, so I was content with chillin there, talking, getting to know people, etc.
Tragically, it was smokers paradise in there, and I was getting the black lung, and the bday girl wasnt exactly feelin it. So we said our goodbyes and went on our merry way back to Charlotte Bar, only this time some more things had happened that had kind of peeved me a little more, and it was getting harder and harder to shrug it off. But again, I played nice.
It wasnt nearly as bumpin as the first time we went, and this time around, it was like highschool night because there was a slew of shit faced little girls everywhere. And it was then that I realized that because of girls like that, dancing on the tables, and falling off them, there is a drinking age in the US. So to avoid feeling like pedophiles, we decided to go to a huge dance club. The strobe light, fog machine, E poppin kind of club. And generally I wouldve been ecstatic to being going to such a huge club, especially one with no cover for girls, but more things had gone down, and it was now around 12:30am, so I was too tired to just shrug it off. So the team split up. Because I was a hop skip and a jump away from being Satan.
But that didnt stop me from dancing like it was my business until 3 in the morning. It did however stopped me from breathing out of my nostrils because the french dont believe in showers apparently? Idk, but it was smelling like something rank in that place. Luckily I was high off of dancing, or else I might have died.
Now it is three am and it's time to go home, and like I said, somethings have gone down that have me a little more fierce than festive, everyone is exhausted, we cant get a cab, and bday girl is not in a good mood anymore. So we start walking back to where we think our hostel is. And all hope is lost, until, while waiting at a crosswalk, a man comes up to me and asks me where I'm from. Now, I dont talk to strangers generally, but I look over and the very drunk woman he had come out of a restaurant with was smoking with Erika, so I responded that I was from the states and he said me too and proceeded to brag about how much money he and his wife had just spent on this fabulous bagillion course meal. So, to politely get him to stfu, I said "oh man you have to stop talking like that, I'm starving". He looks at me and says "oh, well then come on we're all getting pizza" and proceeds to make the fancy ass restaurant open up and let all 6 of us inside to eat. Normally I would never accept such an offer, but I was pissed, hungry, tired cold, and hungry (oh I said it twice? I meant to). This man bought all six of us Pizza, and the biggest beers ever. Which I poured into his drunk wife's mug while no one was watching, so that she could get even more hammered, and I wouldnt look rude. He also paid, and then went over to his hotel at 5am and called us a cab. I couldnt make this up if I tried. This guy was ridiculous, but hilarious, and probably more so because we were all deliriously tired. He told me that if it wasnt for my cute knee high socks he wouldve never talked to us. How nice? hahaha
It was kind of like duex es machina, because if it hadnt been for this divine intervention, the night probably wouldve ended shitty.

Fast forward to 5 hours later to me running around like a crazy person trying to get pictures of the Eiffel Tower before we left. Luckily John was down to go with me, because the bitties definitely werent. AND I got to get a Venti Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks, which was a huge mood changer because coffee in Italy is served in a thimble.
The rest of the day consisted of shopping for me and John, and then taking a metro to get to the bus to get to to the plane to get to the bus to get to the taxi that finally brought us to Rome.

It has taken me almost 4 days to write this out, so if my thoughts seem a little more spastic than usual, that's why. Paris was amazing, but I am definitely suffering the consequences of too much travel and not enough sleep. I'm almost back to normal, but as I finish this up it's coming up on 2am, so I'll probably mess up my sleep pattern again. If I ever even had one. C'est la vie. Right?